Friday, June 17, 2016
Kayla
I wrote this in 2010 to help me get through a difficult time, and to honor my niece. To my sister, and anyone else who's lost a child, and the pain is still too great, please don't read any further - not until you've come to a certain point. I can't tell you when that will be, or what that might look like for you. It may be different for each person. But, this was to help me, as an aunt, to heal and find God's peace.
Mountains
Kids say the darnedest things! If you have a toddler, or are around a toddler often, you know this age group can be one of the most fun, or one of the most trying times in your life. Not to mention, you never know what is going to come out of their mouths. Case in point, my youngest child was barely two, sitting on my lap playing with his little toy cars. He drove them up and down and around my arms. He drove them over my head and across my legs. Of course, he made the vroom noises to go along with the car's actions. But when he decided to drive the cars across my chest, he didn't just make the vroom noise. He said "Mommy, look! I'm driving my cars over your mountains!"
Well, what could I say? I laughed. I told him to keep his cars off the mountains and let them roll across my arms or legs so that the driver can stay safe. Double entendre? Why, yes. Yes, it was!
Well, what could I say? I laughed. I told him to keep his cars off the mountains and let them roll across my arms or legs so that the driver can stay safe. Double entendre? Why, yes. Yes, it was!
Thursday, June 16, 2016
A Special Rite of Passage
It's not everyday your oldest daughter gets married. And, prayerfully, it will only happen once. But weeks leading up to that day are the most precious time in a mother/daughter relationship. Ours was no different. My daughter was away at college in Missouri. She came home a couple of weeks before her big day, and naturally they were filled with last minute things to do.
One thing my husband and I wanted to do for her, that will always be a precious memory, was to surprise her with a Rites of Passage ceremony. Some people do this when their young daughter's body becomes a young woman's, or when she graduates from high school. We wanted our daughter's rite of passage to be meaningful, and to take place during one of the most important times in her life - at her wedding. Here's what we did:
We secretly contacted a few key people that had made a huge impact on her life, and told them our plans. We presented each of them with a certain topic and asked them to spend time in prayer about what they would say to her. We asked them to search the Scriptures to find a verse or two that corresponds with their topic, and asked that they present her with a gift of some sort after they spoke. Of course we would supply the gift, unless they had something special they wanted to give. We then asked each one to meet her at certain spots on the grounds where the wedding would be held, and before the rehearsal began.
We actually started the ceremony at our home, and talked to her about giving her our blessing on her marriage. We gave her a few scriptures, prayed with her and then proceeded to the wedding site. We dropped her off with instructions to speak with the first person she saw (that she knew) and they would give her further instructions. She was given our blessing and we talked to her about God's blessings. From the other people, she was given advice about purity in marriage, about hope, love, integrity, and then prayed over by those godly people. The ceremony ended with my husband speaking to her, standing just inside the gazebo where she was to be married the next day. He spoke to her about loving her husband and being his queen. He told her how proud he was of her and how much he loved her. He then presented her with a beautiful tiara, which she wore for her wedding.
That was four years ago today.
Now, in allowing reality take center stage here, this must be said... earlier on the day of the rehearsal, our daughter went off to have her nails made pretty, and to spend some time with her friends before the rehearsal. I asked her to be back home by a certain time because we had something planned. She made it home just in time to quickly get ready for the rehearsal, and I know she was pretty upset with us that we rushed her out of the door. She wasn't thrilled with the way her hair looked or that she didn't have time to even shower. But, I hope we made up for it with all the surprises she ended the night with. Either that, or she's harboring evil thoughts of us and can't wait to *run away with her husband! (*see previous post)
One thing my husband and I wanted to do for her, that will always be a precious memory, was to surprise her with a Rites of Passage ceremony. Some people do this when their young daughter's body becomes a young woman's, or when she graduates from high school. We wanted our daughter's rite of passage to be meaningful, and to take place during one of the most important times in her life - at her wedding. Here's what we did:
We secretly contacted a few key people that had made a huge impact on her life, and told them our plans. We presented each of them with a certain topic and asked them to spend time in prayer about what they would say to her. We asked them to search the Scriptures to find a verse or two that corresponds with their topic, and asked that they present her with a gift of some sort after they spoke. Of course we would supply the gift, unless they had something special they wanted to give. We then asked each one to meet her at certain spots on the grounds where the wedding would be held, and before the rehearsal began.
We actually started the ceremony at our home, and talked to her about giving her our blessing on her marriage. We gave her a few scriptures, prayed with her and then proceeded to the wedding site. We dropped her off with instructions to speak with the first person she saw (that she knew) and they would give her further instructions. She was given our blessing and we talked to her about God's blessings. From the other people, she was given advice about purity in marriage, about hope, love, integrity, and then prayed over by those godly people. The ceremony ended with my husband speaking to her, standing just inside the gazebo where she was to be married the next day. He spoke to her about loving her husband and being his queen. He told her how proud he was of her and how much he loved her. He then presented her with a beautiful tiara, which she wore for her wedding.
That was four years ago today.
Now, in allowing reality take center stage here, this must be said... earlier on the day of the rehearsal, our daughter went off to have her nails made pretty, and to spend some time with her friends before the rehearsal. I asked her to be back home by a certain time because we had something planned. She made it home just in time to quickly get ready for the rehearsal, and I know she was pretty upset with us that we rushed her out of the door. She wasn't thrilled with the way her hair looked or that she didn't have time to even shower. But, I hope we made up for it with all the surprises she ended the night with. Either that, or she's harboring evil thoughts of us and can't wait to *run away with her husband! (*see previous post)
Running Away
Have you ever thought of running away? I'm sure most of us have - more so now as an adult, than as a child. I find that I often long to run away to the beach and put my toes in the sand. Or to a cabin by a lake. Or in a boat on a lake, with a good book in my hand. I think we all long for peace now and then, and our children are no exception. They also have similar longings to have a sense of freedom from everything.
I have three children ~ ages 25, 23 & 18. They are so fun to be around... now. But when they were all living at home, it wasn't always the case. There were days when my biggest fear was that they would actually run away from home. I'm sure most parents worry about that, too. I prayed a lot, asking God to lead them in His path so that they wouldn't ever come to the point where they felt the need to run. I've achingly thought about where they would go, and how they would survive, and would they ever come back. So before my oldest became a teenager, I sat all three of them down and made them make a promise to me. I made them promise that, if they ever had the urge to run away, they would take me with them. At the time, I knew how silly that was. And I knew that if any of them ever ran away for real, that I would probably be the last one they want to take with them. But I never dreamed what would come from that simple, spur-of-the-moment, silly little promise.
Years later my middle daughter, who was in junior high at the time, was fed up with all the drama at her school. She was tired of the boyfriend stealers, and the gossipers, and the I'm-better-than-you attitudes from so-called friends. She came home, called out to me, and stated: "Mom, I want to run away with you." My heart sank, and soared, at the same time. I hurt for her, but wow, what an opportunity I had here! I said ok, grabbed my keys and purse and off we went. At first I had no idea where to go or what to do. It still amazes me how God brings things to your mind at the right moment you need them! The thought of a cold drink on a hot Houston day came to mind, so we headed to the nearest fast food place and ordered ice cream drinks. The entire time, I'm praying: what do I do? were do we go? how can I make this memorable so that this run away with Mom thing becomes the norm, and not the most feared thing in my life? God then brought to mind a small park nearby. So, we took our drinks to the park. We sat and talked, we played on the playground equipment, and walked on the walking trail next to a small creek.
I can't tell you how great that felt, to be able to turn something negative into a positive... to make a special memory out of a bad day... to just be there for my child when she needed me the most. Be there for your children. Play with them, laugh with them, run away with them - they need your support, encouragement, and love ALL of the time - from the time they are born until the time you leave this world. Don't hold back. Be like God - love unconditionally!
I have three children ~ ages 25, 23 & 18. They are so fun to be around... now. But when they were all living at home, it wasn't always the case. There were days when my biggest fear was that they would actually run away from home. I'm sure most parents worry about that, too. I prayed a lot, asking God to lead them in His path so that they wouldn't ever come to the point where they felt the need to run. I've achingly thought about where they would go, and how they would survive, and would they ever come back. So before my oldest became a teenager, I sat all three of them down and made them make a promise to me. I made them promise that, if they ever had the urge to run away, they would take me with them. At the time, I knew how silly that was. And I knew that if any of them ever ran away for real, that I would probably be the last one they want to take with them. But I never dreamed what would come from that simple, spur-of-the-moment, silly little promise.
Years later my middle daughter, who was in junior high at the time, was fed up with all the drama at her school. She was tired of the boyfriend stealers, and the gossipers, and the I'm-better-than-you attitudes from so-called friends. She came home, called out to me, and stated: "Mom, I want to run away with you." My heart sank, and soared, at the same time. I hurt for her, but wow, what an opportunity I had here! I said ok, grabbed my keys and purse and off we went. At first I had no idea where to go or what to do. It still amazes me how God brings things to your mind at the right moment you need them! The thought of a cold drink on a hot Houston day came to mind, so we headed to the nearest fast food place and ordered ice cream drinks. The entire time, I'm praying: what do I do? were do we go? how can I make this memorable so that this run away with Mom thing becomes the norm, and not the most feared thing in my life? God then brought to mind a small park nearby. So, we took our drinks to the park. We sat and talked, we played on the playground equipment, and walked on the walking trail next to a small creek.
I can't tell you how great that felt, to be able to turn something negative into a positive... to make a special memory out of a bad day... to just be there for my child when she needed me the most. Be there for your children. Play with them, laugh with them, run away with them - they need your support, encouragement, and love ALL of the time - from the time they are born until the time you leave this world. Don't hold back. Be like God - love unconditionally!
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